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He wouldn't climax so I became very defeated and again just stopped. So there was peace in my solo and no regrets. I am so lost. Celibacy made breaking ties easier. As for affairs, those that occur in response to a sexless marriage seem more understandable than those that occur in marriages where there is still passion and romance. During these 10 years, I have con very alone. He doesn't like talking to me. Communication, Compromise, and Commitment. At least I'll be getting some.

He holds my hand, he loves me, he does nice things for me. We have the same interests, we talk all the time. But i'm just sad, there's this huge part that's missing. The kids are almost grown. What do I do? Generally, a sexless marriage is defined as one in which sex happens 10 or fewer times a year, which applies to a whopping 15 to 20 percent of married couples, according to a Newsweek estimate. The social networking site Yuku has a popular sexless marriage community. Reddit, of course, has a thriving community, , with more than 24,000 subscribers. As with most Reddit communities, it has its own language and shorthand. Even general relationship forums, like LoveShack. That's to say nothing of the angst found in the posts themselves. I have so much love and real passion to give and it's not wanted, appreciated, or returned. The man that loved me is dead. He is like a zombie. I know my husband is a porn addict and is on sex hook up sites yet doesn't want me. I have men flirt with me everywhere. He makes me feel like an ugly old woman just sitting out in the country waiting to die. Please do not condemn me for this. That's generally the case with the sexless couples that New York therapist Ian Kerner sees. That's true for sexless message boards too: If someone's content with having sex 10 times or less a year, they're not going to be posting to the Internet about it. Kerner says it's not uncommon for him to see couples in truly sexless marriages, but more common are general issues around desire. It's notoriously hard to diagnose, because there are so many potential factors -- environmental, relational, medical, you name it. But Kerner has identified some common causes. We both have busy and stressful schedules but not more or less than the start of the relationship. Men will tend to respond to a single sexual cue. For women, there needs to be a context of multiple sexual cues. They do, to be sure, but so too do men. There are the predictable bits, though: Plenty of women lament that the hubs watches porn but shows no interest in having sex. Many message board posters are already to the point of considering divorce. After posting to DeadBedrooms, a woman with the handle decided to try something simple: Explicitly asking her husband for sex, rather than waiting for him to catch on to her attempts at seduction. It's been a long time since I could just melt in a man's arms, in his arms, and lose myself in a moment of kissing. Maybe one day we'll sync up again. Maybe one day I'll have more self confidence and not have to psyche myself out to get into it. Reproduction of material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. SALON ® is registered in the U. Patent and Trademark Office as a trademark of Salon Media Group Inc. Associated Press articles: Copyright © 2016 The Associated Press. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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